Everybody loves free stuff. And everybody hates having their pocketknife taken away at the airport cause they forgot to leave it in checked luggage. I mean, seriously, who am i going to kill with a 2″ nail file, anyway? Or that plastic toothpick? Completely harmless. And if i’m going to go down in a plane crash, i don’t want to die with a vicious hangnail or something stuck in my teeth; teeth and fingernails are all that’s left of you 1000 years later for archeologists to find. Do we really want the robot overlords to think we were total slobs?

Anyway, it’s not quite free, but the stuff those airport nazis have been taking from all of us is now for sale on ebay. (if the link gets changed – as ebay is prone to do – just go to ebay.com and search for “ntsa”). You can buy 50 pounds of scissors! Swiss army knives by the barrel! 46 used folding pen knives! It’s a sharp object fanatic’s dream! In case you weren’t already thinking what i’m thinking: tools by the pound are an excellent belated birthday gift for yours truly. 🙂

Here’s something that’s totally and completely free, no joke. Saturday is free comic book day. I know! There’s a *whole day* where they just give away comic books, for free?!? What could be more american than that? Maybe if there was pie, also, i guess, and that was free, too. That would be pretty darn american. I’d be all over that. I’ll do just about anything for pie… But anyway, look up your closest local participating comic book shop and go pick up your free copy of Betty & Veronica.