I realize my writing has dried up as of late, and I don’t want to make excuses for it or try to justify my distraction; I’ve just had other priorities. I’ve also been torn about a few things that I’m going to share, now, as a little island of verbal foliage in an otherwise barren expanse.
When Grama Polly died in January, I wasn’t sure what to say about that. I wanted to talk about all the wonderful things I remember about her, and post some of the many great pictures and stories I have. But I also felt awkward immortalizing her in a medium that I felt was so trivial, alongside articles about my Christmas wishlist and my favorite t-shirt stores. I feel like I need to honor her memory in other ways, and then perhaps I’ll be ready to talk about her here. I have several huge boxes of old photos from her closet that I’m going to restore, digitize and organize for the family, and I’m going to start with that, for now.
Feeling awkward about not discussing that led me to post nothing at all, which I regret, but now that it’s four months later I feel ok moving on to other topics. I may go back and post-date some memories for myself during the last few silent months; I’m in charge here so I can do that if I want to. 🙂
I also dove headfirst into entrepreneurialism in January, and it became a black hole that sucked the life out of me in February and March. I bid a contract job with my college lab partner and friend, Tim, and project-managed the construction of a website for an athletics vendor. The project became a nightmare for so many reasons – some that we created for ourselves, and some that life just dropped on us – and I shrunk away from everything else in my life that wasn’t my day job or my night job for those several months. I cut out friends, family, exercise, eating properly, cleaning the house, sleeping and anything else that consumed time I needed to be spending on the project. I learned a great deal about project management, and about running a business – enough to decide I don’t need to run that kind of business anymore. I owe Tim a great deal for his patience and loyalty throughout the project, and I owe Danielle a great deal for being such a generous and understanding roommate when I was so consumed elsewhere, and I don’t regret the experience overall. But the next time I want to make extra money on the side, I’ll go back to being a checker at the grocery store. 🙂
Although I’m trying to avoid making excuses for my gag order, I do have to add that I switched mobile phone providers – from TMobile to AT&T – and that has broken my mobile photo posting scheme. I’m sure it’s fixable, but I just haven’t taken the time to look at it, and I haven’t felt terribly inspired as a photographer the last few months anyway – chalk that up to creative exhaustion – so I’ve relied on Twitter for any out-and-about thoughts. I’ll get it working again, though, and resume the ugly-car-of-the-week posts that I know the internet can’t live without. 😉
I’ve got things to say, occasionally, so I’ll resume trying to use this as the creative outlet it used to be – perhaps with changes in direction – as I found it valuable and satisfying in the past. There’s also some projects I’d like to take on this summer that should give me something to discuss – such as my dream to try every burger in Seattle, which I think is going to start today with lunch in the sunshine at Blue Moon Burgers. So, stay tuned. 🙂