Gnomes on line 1.

warning labelI’m sure there are still some blue tongues at the office today – although i haven’t interrogated anyone about it to confirm – and i have already seen some of the pictures circulating of us all from saturday, dressed to the nines in black, red and gold, sipping martinis dyed to company-logo-blue and clanking our glasses together in merriment. One of the best company christmas parties i’ve been to, themed after Casino Royale, replete with tuxedo-clad dealers, high-stakes betting into the multi-million-monopoly-dollar range (with a percentage of winnings destined for the high-roller’s charity of choice) and a c-note’s worth of engineers, developers, and sales and support personalities nearly unrecognizable in their previously-unseen glamour and panache. The only let-down was being sent home so early, likely at the bequest of corporate attorneys with visions of liability lawsuits dancing in their heads. Today, back to the grind, the weekend’s festive binge has passed the torch to the weekdays’chemical crutch and the return to denim, repetitive stress syndrome and radiation-emitting portable electronics is energetically complete.

My garage door remains immobilized today, deprived of its one remaining tensioner spring on saturday morning so the garage door gnomes can use it as a paradigm from which to fashion two fresh ones. Those gnomes called me today, or rather dispatched their human female receptionist to do so, in order to request the weight of my garage door. The weight of my garage door. As though i had recently held it in one hand, and a 10-lb sack of flour in the other, and estimated that “this hand weighs about twice as much as that hand.” She helpfully suggested i place a bathroom scale on the garage floor and lower the door onto it, so i suppose i shall have to stop at target tonight and purchase a bathroom scale in order to weigh my garage door. I’m sure i’ll find thousands of amusing uses for a bathroom scale once i’m in possession of one, the least of which will involve finding a place to store it in my already-overcrowded 4-square-foot bathroom. I supposed it also wouldn’t hurt to weigh myself at least once, as the weight on my driver’s license probably hasn’t been updated since it was issued in 1994.

John was released from the hospital yesterday afternoon and is home on Vashon now, likely alternating between sleeping and driving his mother crazy with sarcastic answers to valid medical questions. I stopped at the hospital yesterday morning on my way to the gym but he was sleeping soundly so i read the two pages of comics from his sunday times and departed as stealthily as i had come. I did not, in fact, make it to the gym afterward as all the other cheap bastards visiting downtown on a sunday morning had scarfed up the entire allotment of free street parking and the municipal tower garage was either closed, non-functioning or woefully understaffed, with no amount of punishment levied at the “print ticket” button able to remedy the infuriating situation. After several dozen maddening circles in a steadily larger radius around the building, i had my fill of the whole ordeal and bitterly headed home, begrudging the gym, the muni tower garage and the “consul-only” parking spaces with their deceptive emptiness that resulted only in cruel, exclusionary condescension. Still annoyed (and possibly tired and lazy, as well) i didn’t go to the gym this morning either. That’ll show them.

There’s caffeine in my mints, too.

Thanx Kimmy for making us go! Steph and i had a random fun time on the eighties harbor cruise – enjoyed the show of sequins, polka dots and jean jackets, danced a bit, marveled at the downtown skyline from our watery vantage – and managed to avoid being trampled by the ballroom couple or the gaggle of bachelorettes high on blow. Tomorrow Kim and I are going on the lake at 8am to catch some good waterskiing weather if anyone’s interested… call me before 2am or after 7. 😉

And yes, the caffeine is working…a frappuccino for breakfast, another for lunch, and then a sensible dinner (two mt dews with teriyaki) and i’m feeling much better about everything… except maybe that ucler. 😉

Holiday-appropriate circus animals

Someone who’s a med student or something needs to explain to me the whole internal alarm clock thingy. Cause mine is seriously wacked out. After sleeping in until at least 10 for three days in a row (sat, sun, mon – aren’t long weekends the best!) i awoke peacefully this morning to sunshine and birds chirping, yawned and stretched, and glanced over to read ‘5:45’ on the clock. Augh! I felt completely rested, even though i’d gone to bed less than six hours earlier, and my alarm wasn’t set for another 15 minutes! Maybe it’s the cruelty of daylight savings time, i dunno. But it was creepy.

Stayed out later than i should have last nite, enjoying Dave’s perpetual hospitality and grilled cuisine. A few times around the ballroom floor with Christy, Tamara and Amy (i always hoped that hobby would pay off!) and a vigorous ping-pong match in the basement that lasted until all the balls disappeared into the cobwebbed corners kept me pretty busy all evening. Somewhere in there i also hit up a ride in Ian’s freshly-broken-in five speed and pigged out on memorial-day-appropriate red, white and blue circus animal cookies. Not a bad evening, considering i left to run errands at 2 in the afternoon, called Ian on a fluke from the freeway, and just stayed out the rest of the night. Wireless phones are great! Of course, i’ve always thought that… but whatever. Be back up there saturday to work on the car a bit in Dave’s garage (seriously, this guy is a majorly generous sort) and enjoy even more sunshine and bbq. Summer has arrived! Sehr aufgeregt!

Danielle popped into town thursday nite, which is my excuse for neglecting you this weekend. She’s on the job hunt this week, but the weekend was designated free time. We spent saturday and sunday being ultra-lazy, playing video games, surfing the internet and raiding the cupboards for junk food. It was great to relax and hang out with her… and i found a bunch of cool stuff in GTA Vice City! 😉 Like a helicopter! Sweet!

Friday i had the nwnismo gang up for italian (except for Travis, who’s a big slacker! and Jason, who was fishing… big surprise there… apparently he has two addictions…). Jason (Thane) and Julia showed up in time to bring much-needed dessert, and Danielle and i made waaay too much food, so we’ve been eating meatballs at least once a day ever since. Guess what’s for dinner tonite? It was great having everyone up, hope they can all come back more often! Clint even returned the sunglasses he stole from me, so now i don’t have to buy a new pair! He’s such a klepto… 😉

Now that it’s been a week and it’s old news… i have the photos from the cabin posted. Sorry, no pics from memorial day weekend, as i took a photographer’s holiday. 😉

I’m almost finished with my lunch, it’s time to get back to work. I typed the bulk of this entry with only my left hand, as my right hand was busy weilding an apple in a mouthward direction… i’m surprised there aren’t more typo-s… oh, right… i’m obsessive-compulsive and i fixed them all…

Belated St Paddys

Well, it’s a little after one and guess who just got out of bed? I’ll give you a hint… he’s taller than Tom Cruise, less annoying the Gilbert Gottfried, and blacker than Michael Jackson… okay, i give. It’s me. Anyway, i missed like 8 phone calls while i was sleeping, apologies to whoever that was. Gabe i know one of those was you – sorry man! you call at weird times! 😉

Kim is getting some mountain time, as the slopes close next weekend. Dunno where Josh is (it was Kim’s week to watch him, i swear!). So i’m home alone [scream and pinch face in hands] and there’s no one here to tell me i shouldn’t have a coke and two lemon zingers for breakfast…

Tonite is st paddy’s day with Lexie, Hillary and Molly. Now, i know what you’re thinking… ‘wasn’t st patrick’s day last month?’ Well, you’re correct there, but Lulu had the nerve to be deathly sick that day and missed all the fun, so we’re holding a rerun at kell’s (irish pub in post alley). Molly of course has ground rules, involving who gets to kiss who depending on what color they’re wearing and who she thinks looks the hottest in green. I read the rules twice, and i haven’t decided if i’m better off to be wearing or not wearing green… i think i might wear something green that’s not obvious so i can whip it out should it become advantageous. Either way, i expect to be there until well after closing time, just as i have every other time i’ve accompanied ‘the three vodkasteers’ to kell’s. 😉 And i expect it should be a wild time, as always. Anyone who’s bored tonite or isn’t feeling lucky lately, come join us in toasting Lulu! Slinte!

Hump day checkin

Julia, Jason and I had a rollicking (good word, huh?) good time last nite at Watertown – too bad all you slackers who said you were going to show, didn’t – you would have, too! Stopped by their great new apt afterward for some gamecube and ghetto screwdrivers – thanx guys, we need to make time more often! Meanwhile, Danielle and Miguel were at home sleeping – apparently their couple days in canada wore them out. 😉

Kim’s birthday party is still on for friday nite, and saturday is the first huge Maxima bbq of the season (pray for sunshine!), and it’s only wednesday… but on the other hand, it’s already wednesday!