keys

This is how my week is going.

I’m not sure if the universe operates on some sort of yin/yang, good-luck/bad-luck cycle, or if I’m just only happy when it rains, but it seems like when I’m stretched to the limit that’s exactly when every little thing starts to go wrong and every molehill becomes a mountain. These are the kinds of things I’ve been dealing with this week, in the midst of trying to pack, buying a condo, getting ready to move, etc. I apologize for the lazy bullet-point format but that’s what my life has been reduced to in December – a series of lists. It’s really all I’m capable of at this point.

  • I can barely walk, apparently. I’ve been bumping things on other things, tripping over nothing, and otherwise banging myself up just trying to handle seemingly-harmless tasks. I hardly ever injure myself, but in the last two weeks I’ve hit my head on the closet door, closed my hand in a drawer, gouged my back on a shelf, knocked my forehead on the roof of my truck… I’ve become the world’s biggest klutz.
  • I lost my truck/house keys Monday morning. Or very nearly lost them. Last time I’d had them was Sunday afternoon, and Monday morning when it was time to leave for work, they were nowhere. I only have one key to the truck, so unless I found them it would become a giant steel paperweight. Picture my apartment, stacked chest-high with boxes, packing material strewn across the floor, wall-to-wall chaos with nothing in its usual place – this is the environment where I had presumably set my keys down. I tore through the place, opening sealed boxes, unpacking luggage… and nothing. Finally I retraced my last known steps with the keys – to the mailbox and back. I found them lying in my neighbor’s driveway, mere inches away from the gutter where the torrents of Seattle’s rainiest day in the past 50 years threatened them with a watery demise. My neighbor must have run over them as the keys are chewed up, but at least I found them. I was 98% percent to nervous breakdown.
  • I can’t seem to be on time for anything. I went to a meeting an hour early today. In my head, I was sure it was at 8am, and I half-jogged the 5 blocks to the other office building where it was held only to find I was alone in the conference room. Check my phone again: meeting is at 9. This meeting is at 9 every Wednesday and has been since April, but I was sure it was at eight. I was an hour early to my condo closing paperwork appointment yesterday because I seem to have lost all ability to estimate travel time; I spent the extra hour sitting across the street at Starbucks breathing into a paper bag.
  • As it turns out, my truck keys aren’t just chewed up a little. The keyfob is apparently slightly broken. I figured this out Tuesday afternoon when I walked the 5 blocks in the pouring rain to my parking lot and discovered I couldn’t unlock the doors. Some shouting and physical abuse temporarily revived it, but I’ve since been operating in constant fear that each press of a lock or unlock button may be the last one, leaving the truck permanently either dangerously unlocked or locked and immobilized. It’s something I would toss and turn about on a regular night, but this week it’s chewing me up. I really need my truck for the next couple weeks.
  • People keep wanting and/or needing things from me and I keep having to tell them no. It’s not like me to ever decline an invitation or defer to help someone out, and it makes me feel like a selfish, antisocial misanthrope. As I told Hannah yesterday during my massage, I’ve got a list (several lists, really) of things that have to be done this week, this weekend, next week, next weekend, before the 15th, before I leave town for Christmas… and if it’s not on my list, I can’t think about it. Moreover, if it doesn’t urgently need to be done before the 15th, it’s not making the list. The list is already so frighteningly long, complex and full of interdependencies that I can’t conceive it will ever be completed, so I’m having trouble looking beyond the 15th, either. Basically, I’m absorbed with this project. My apologies to anyone that’s trying to get or give anything else from or to me.
  • The weather. Maybe you’ve seen the underwater freeways and manholes-turned-fountains on the news. While I’ve so far escaped any massive flooding, I’m starting to worry it might snow while I’m trying to move; it’s already snowed in the city once this season, much earlier than it usually does here. Or worse – it might get suddenly cold again and freeze the city into a giant skating rink the day I pick up a uhaul truck. My moving help could all be stranded at home. My uhaul truck could get stuck at the bottom of the hill in the condo parking lot. I had hoped to do some outdoor things this past weekend – prune shrubs at the apartment, wash cars, pick up leaves – but 4 inches of wet snow on the ground and almost a foot of rain kept any of that from happening. I realize I’m the fool that is moving in December, but I had not expected it to be this bad.

Normally I wouldn’t lose sleep over these kinds of things – I’d turn them into humorous anecdotes and be done with them. But this week I’m on a deadline. And I hate slipping on deadlines.

And really, there’s no breakfast

There’s an episode of Friends where Rachel and Monica lock themselves out of their apartment. It’s a thanksgiving episode. On their way out the door Monica says ‘got the keys?’ but Rachel interprets it as ‘got the keys.’ (no question mark). So the turkey burns, and Rachel misses her flight, and it’s the ‘worst thanksgiving ever.’ Well, apparently life does imitate art. 😉

Kim and i decided last nite about 6 to go run a few miles on the beach. It was a perfect evening, we felt great afterward, and headed home to find some dinner, clean the house up a bit, and relax. Kim drove us down to the beach, so i’d left my keys at home. She thought i had house keys so she just grabbed her car keys, that was it. We came home to find ourselves totally and completely locked out! Josh was gone at a soccer game until after 9.

We tried picking the locks, but a large screwdriver and a bobby pin weren’t really the right tools. We tried opening a basement window, but then figured the basement door was probably locked, so all that would get us is locked in the basement. After getting tired of the strange looks from the neighbors, we drove around a bit, ending up at thriftway where (yay for technology) i used my fingerprint to buy us some dinner at the deli, since neither of us had a wallet, either. After leaving Josh a message to call us when he got home (he needs a wireless phone! augh!) we headed to Fremont, where Jason and Julia were kind enough to take us in (you guyz rock!). We played ps2 and ate ice cream with them (still in our workout clothes) until Josh finally got home about 9:30. Btw, breyer’s mint white chocolate – really good. So that was our little adventure last night. Kim’s pretty sure she’ll never live it down, and i’m pretty sure i’m going to drive next time we go to the beach. 😀

In other news, Annie D gets here tonite to visit for a few days from portland – sweet! We’re gonna party it up in Seattle all weekend, it’s gonna be great! Then Danielle will swing through town on monday nite for a job interview at Alaska Airlines (good luck, kid!). Once again, i’m running a bed-and-breakfast, but at least this time i have the extra room! 🙂