ikea

When you can’t even trust your bathroom fixtures

Soon you won’t even be able to trust your wall mirror to be honest with you, as it provides flattering lies every morning like this prototype at Ikea.  Sure, it will feel nice to be told “Have you been working out?” every morning – a nice change from what I usually think when I pass the mirror, toothbrush in hand – but how long until the product placements?  As usual, Futurama predicts our fate, and like Fry we will always look better in the store mirror than in real life:

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Ikea Gets Dove-Like With a Mirror That Tells You How Beautiful You Are | Adweek.

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Only 44 more shopping days!

I was at Ikea yesterday, looking for a dishwasher brush for the new place (haven’t needed one of those in a long time – a purchase i’m happy to make) . No, i haven’t moved in yet, but i like to be prepared. I might want to use the dishwasher my first day! Anyway, in addition to the usual baubles and trinkets that always catch my eye as i traverse the unfinished-wood maze that is Ikea, i couldn’t help but dawdle in the newly-furbished Christmas decoration section. All sorts of shiny things and fuzzy stuff, some things that burn and some that flash, some things in plastic, or metal, or wood, or glass… all for prices that keep you merry thru the new year. With arms already full of coat hangers and bbq brushes in addition to the requisite dishwasher implement (all things i desperately needed, i assure you – those who laugh must never have been to Ikea and undergone the Scandanavian forces of persuasion) i paused to marvel at the low-low prices and make mental note to acquire a cart (or at least, a big yellow bag) at the store entrance on my next trip, so as not to limit my wanton consumerism to only that which i could physically carry. I may not be spending much time this holiday season at home (either here in Seattle or home-home, in Montana) so i will likely allow myself to spend extra money to compensate with an overly mirth-laden abode. Plus, i love this time of year more than any other, especially in the city, even despite the increasingly hectic and hair-tearing-out whirlwind it usually is. A chance to visit family, to share quality time with friends, to send gifts and/or warm words to those i care about… to eat more varieties of pie and in greater quantities than is possible during any other period of festivity. Who could not love that?

In case you haven’t already seen it, memorized it, and rescheduled your life around it, my Christmas wishlist is available and constantly updated for your shopping ease. I’ve tried to fill it with things that are fun to buy as well as to receive, nothing too practical or boring, and varied enough in price to satisfy any budget while still being realistic. There are of course a few dream items, should any of you win the lottery before i have a chance to, and feel the need to spoil me this Christmas outside of the normal parameters of casual gift-giving. If you really want to surprise me with something extravagant, tho, you might wish to venture beyond the boundaries of the list. For example, my Z would love you as much as i if you indulged us both in a set of Professor SP-1’s by japanese wheel-maker SSR. I need 18×9’s in the front, and 18×10’s in the back, in the black chrome finish. No idea which offset is correct – if you can figure that out you’re better at math than me. Feel free to choose the center caps you prefer, in order to further personalize your generous bestowal. Here’s a nice preview picture i put together using gimp today at work, showing just how freakishly awesome that would look. In addition to being increasingly stylish and sexy, these wheels would also make my car faster, as they’re lighter (less than 20 lbs each without tires!). Really, it’s a win-win situation for everyone. I don’t know what’s left to hold you back.

Danielle is also in the Christmas mood today, calling to invite me over for dinner and an evening of pretending-it’s-almost-Christmas with pot roast and gingerbread cookies. Since it never really looks like winter here (other than a few days ago when it was really foggy, and reminded me of what a snowstorm looks like) the line between fall and winter is kind of blurry and easily adjusted to fit your mood. For example, if it’s a crisp, sunny day and you want to drive your car around town with the t-tops off (this is just a random example, of course) then you can tell yourself it’s fall. However if, like Danielle is today, you’re in the mood for cookies that have eyes and the liberal use of sprinkles, then you can proclaim winter to be upon us, and indulge in the appropriate festivities. So, in the spirit of the latter, don’t hestiate to keep tabs on my wishlist and check back often for new and cool items!