• -Rock Band track downloads need to finish in the background. Waiting for every single one in turn is really annoying. #
• -I can’t pass the bakery outlet store without stopping to buy something. That whole block just smells so good! #
• -Political bumper stickers should automatically self-destruct after their issue is voted on. I don’t care how you voted in 1994. #
• -Burger on the patio at Blue Moon, enjoying the sunshine but not enjoying the jackhammers. #
• -Planning a birthday lunch with Hayley next week. Is it bad that all I really want is a Red Robin cheeseburger and steak fries? #
• -It is too early and too sunny to be sitting in the kind of meeting I’m sitting in. #
• -Fifth gear, left lane, head back, blue sky, PM Dawn. #
• -Where does Azteca find all these asian people who speak with a mexican accent? #
• - The life of a mall kiosk phone salesman must be full of rejections, at work and otherwise. #
• -Sunshine on a day forecast for rain is like winning the weather lottery. #

I get a lot of weird email at work. I know that other people who worked here before me have had this email address (it’s *very* generic) and that does explain some of it, but there’s also apparently a lot of people who are purposely using my corporate email address as their “reply-to” or when signing up for things online. I’m not sure why you’d want to do that - there’s so many throwaway email services these days, and just because you don’t want email from some site doesn’t mean you’d want some stranger (me) to get messages about your account, does it? I know the internet brings out the stupid in people, so let’s take a trip through the “funny/random” folder in my inbox and see who’s using my email address. These are all real messages, directly from my corporate mailbox, and are not spam (strictly-speaking) - they are solicited, intentional messages meant for someone else, someone who provided my address to the sender as their own.

Match.com Vietnam

Let’s begin with the one that started me on this journey today. I am quite sure I have never signed up for Match.com Vietnam, especially not with my work address. Also, is it just me or does “Nordjylland” not sound like a real region in Vietnam?

What a Scouser!

Here’s one of many gems from overseas - and one that was actually in english. I appreciate that Colin was so inspired by Subway’s new promotion that he thought to forward it along to me. I, too, am very excited about a different 6″ sub every day for only 1 pound and 99 pence. I don’t appreciate, however, that he refers to me as a scouser - I am not from the Liverpool area nor do I cheer for their rugby team.

DSM Tuner dood

I’m really glad brian97gs created an account for me on the DSMTuners.com forums, so I can post mad pics of my sick 97 Eclipse GS for all the homies to be jealous of. Too bad his account activation process is now stalled - just like his Mitsubishi!

The Fabled Dragon of Forgotten Passwords

Johnny12333 used my address to sign up for his DragonFable account and hasn’t used it in quite some time, such that he’s forgotten his password. DragonFable efficiently emailed it to me when Johnny requested it - if only he could remember that tricky extra “3″, he’d be slaying virtual dragons already!

P.S. My rent is going to be late arriving this month

Apparently I’m a landlord for this nice couple, and although I’m attentive enough to their concerns, I’m not particularly choosy when hiring repair vendors. That doesn’t sound like me, but I also don’t have children or a Pug. According to google, Jane and Roy are an upstanding pair who donate their time at polling centers, so I’m not going to bother them about how my address got into their gmail addressbook.

Real Estate Professional

Here’s a local one, from associate Windermere broker Shane. This is not the only message I have from him, and considering he’s freely sharing with me all the details of this couple’s home buying process, I’m not sure he’s the kind of detail-oriented realtor that will make senior broker. Or maybe this is just his roundabout way of securing those all-important referrals?

Error: this seller’s account has been suspended.

Of course, what kind of good email scam would be complete without an entry related to Ebay? Ever wonder where those shady sellers get new, valid email address to sign up another fly-by-night account? Here’s your answer: they’re using mine.

Sorry Missed Address

Sheila felt it was important I not forget Chloe’s birthday. She used her Paxway “filtered internet service” to drop me a line, which I can only assume charges her by the word, necessitating that she omit any non-essential prepositions and pronouns. My question for her - if she’s the “Owner/Office Manager” of this excavating business, why is Norm’s name on the door?

The Gooch

These next two are a couple of my favorites, mostly because I love her name. Gooch. Don’t mess with The Gooch. Hey, The Gooch wants to see you. You went to prom with The Gooch? One more outburst like that and I’m calling The Gooch. Deep in the remote Himalayan mountains lives a creature called The Gooch. Hey, The Gooch emailed pictures of her kids to some stranger on the internet.

Meet the Gooches!

Wow, you just shared a link to your family photos with a total stranger. It’s only because I’m such a nice guy that I didn’t repost that link in the Something Awful forums on Photoshop Phriday.

My Secret Habbo Fetish

Everyone expects teenagers to be sneaky, so it’s no big surprise that “paromon” here used my email address under false pretenses to sign up for Habbo. The thing is, Habbo is like the tamest, most non-threatening thing your 19-year-old can be signing up for on the internet. Maybe he’s just embarrassed to be a closet Habbo-phile?

Go to the YMCA. Turn right at the basketball court.

Araksya here mistakenly believes that I know anything about Henry’s basketball schedule. From the myriad of other youth-basketball-related emails I receive, I’ve deduced that one of my many alter-egos coaches (or at least is responsible for scheduling) YMCA basketball. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to help little Henry find his b-ball games. There’s always soccer, kiddo!

Political AND witty!

I’ve got so many more great ones that I’ll have to save for another day, but let me finish with a real classic. Now I know I’m pretty net-savvy and all, but I had no idea that the Governor of Massachusetts was aware of my previous work and was considering me for a gubernatorial appointment. How flattering! If it hadn’t seemed like such a difficult commute, I might have taken them up on it. The best part? I love her clever pun - “looking forward to connecting with you”… the broadband institute… LOL!

I’ll save the rest for another day. I hope you’ve enjoyed trolling through my mailbox with me, looking for scammers, confused people and lazy typers. Remember to check your “To:” lines!

I realize my writing has dried up as of late, and I don’t want to make excuses for it or try to justify my distraction; I’ve just had other priorities. I’ve also been torn about a few things that I’m going to share, now, as a little island of verbal foliage in an otherwise barren expanse.

When Grama Polly died in January, I wasn’t sure what to say about that. I wanted to talk about all the wonderful things I remember about her, and post some of the many great pictures and stories I have. But I also felt awkward immortalizing her in a medium that I felt was so trivial, alongside articles about my Christmas wishlist and my favorite t-shirt stores. I feel like I need to honor her memory in other ways, and then perhaps I’ll be ready to talk about her here. I have several huge boxes of old photos from her closet that I’m going to restore, digitize and organize for the family, and I’m going to start with that, for now.

Feeling awkward about not discussing that led me to post nothing at all, which I regret, but now that it’s four months later I feel ok moving on to other topics. I may go back and post-date some memories for myself during the last few silent months; I’m in charge here so I can do that if I want to. :)

I also dove headfirst into entrepreneurialism in January, and it became a black hole that sucked the life out of me in February and March. I bid a contract job with my college lab partner and friend, Tim, and project-managed the construction of a website for an athletics vendor. The project became a nightmare for so many reasons - some that we created for ourselves, and some that life just dropped on us - and I shrunk away from everything else in my life that wasn’t my day job or my night job for those several months. I cut out friends, family, exercise, eating properly, cleaning the house, sleeping and anything else that consumed time I needed to be spending on the project. I learned a great deal about project management, and about running a business - enough to decide I don’t need to run that kind of business anymore. I owe Tim a great deal for his patience and loyalty throughout the project, and I owe Danielle a great deal for being such a generous and understanding roommate when I was so consumed elsewhere, and I don’t regret the experience overall. But the next time I want to make extra money on the side, I’ll go back to being a checker at the grocery store. :)

Although I’m trying to avoid making excuses for my gag order, I do have to add that I switched mobile phone providers - from TMobile to AT&T - and that has broken my mobile photo posting scheme. I’m sure it’s fixable, but I just haven’t taken the time to look at it, and I haven’t felt terribly inspired as a photographer the last few months anyway - chalk that up to creative exhaustion - so I’ve relied on Twitter for any out-and-about thoughts. I’ll get it working again, though, and resume the ugly-car-of-the-week posts that I know the internet can’t live without. ;)

I’ve got things to say, occasionally, so I’ll resume trying to use this as the creative outlet it used to be - perhaps with changes in direction - as I found it valuable and satisfying in the past. There’s also some projects I’d like to take on this summer that should give me something to discuss - such as my dream to try every burger in Seattle, which I think is going to start today with lunch in the sunshine at Blue Moon Burgers. So, stay tuned. :)

• -Dinner on the patio at the neighborhood wine bar with Danielle and Sara. Summery! #
• -Happy to be soaking up some vitamin D. #
• -Lunch at the pub with Lindsay - she’s one of the best things to come from my stint in the insurance industry. #
• -Just need to get to work, so i can eat breakfast, so i can take some exedrin. Then i’ll be ok. #
• -Sears online-order-instore-pickup is fast, easy and totally paper-free. Brilliant. #
• -Called AT&T customer service for the first time today. I instantly missed T-Mobile. #
• -Back in Seattle, battling my way home thru a monsoon. #
• -Stay right except to pass - it’s the law! #
• -Checked out of the B&B, headed west. #
• -Girl scout samoas + a blender full of vanilla gelato = crazy delicious. #

• -Burgers from Dad’s grill, a beer on the porch and a sunset in the mountains. It’s good to be home. #
• -Who’s your ho? Idaho! #
• -Rollin thru Spokane, past a rare Carls Jr and acres of vacant car lots. #
• -Coffee stop in Ritzville; the green Starbucks sign beckons like an oasis in the desert. #
• -Climbing Snoqualmie pass, choking down a sugar-free red bull (gross, but not enough to warrant stopping). #
• -Downtown Kirkland has free motorcycle parking on the streets nearly every block. +1 for Kirkland. #
• -Funny how a few minutes talking with a good friend can totally change your perspective and make the world ok again. #
• -Got my first motorcycle ticket - 65 in a 60 on the I-5 express lanes. Good thing dangerous drivers like me are kept in check by the law. #
• -Crossing the lake, to Bellevue. Would have been a great day to play hooky. #
• -Anybody who criticizes our drug industry has obviously never used Claritin Readi-tabs. #
• -Taking the long route to the grocery store, working on my t-top tan. #
• -De-winterizing the patio. Anybody want to bbq? #
• -Watching some killer local drift drivers at Evergreen Speedway. #
• -Surrounded by my best friends and happy hour specials on a sunny Seattle afternoon. What could be better? #
• -Eating breakfast and soaking up some much-needed vitamin D. #
• -My attempt at a nap was foiled by the groundskeeper and his leaf blower. #
• -Today I am 2 parts sick, 3 parts exhausted, and 5 parts overjoyed just to be right here right now. #